Holiday cheer™ ...

Well, Halloween’s over, so you know what that means... yup, break out the pastels, Pablo ‘cause Easter’s just around the corner! Time to pay heed to that great symbol of Christian rebirth - the chocolate bunny.

OK... it’s called sarcasm people, but you get the idea. And it may be an exaggeration (albeit a slight one), but with the inundation of holiday themed sales, movies, and products that took place starting November 1st, I’m already beginning to feel like I’ve fallen behind in my consumerist duties. Who knew that there were so scant few days left until Christma... Quanz... Chanak.... whatever politically correct festival takes place in or around the end of December. According to the popular media, I believe my shopping should be done, and my thanksgiving turkey should currently be soaking in brine in the bathtub (or being prepared to be fried, boiled, pit roasted, or whatever other trendy cooking motif is being hawked on us this year by Martha Stew... hmm... maybe not... perhaps we’ll just say Paul Prudhomme to be safe).

But c'mon... it’s two months away people!

I don’t know what I want to eat, let alone what I want to wear, or even where I want to eat... and I certainly haven’t begun to even THINK about what I want to get people for their respective allotted holidays.

And I like it that way...

I don’t need a Hallmark commercial with a singing/dancing duo of snowman and dog to tell me it’s time to start shopping.

I don’t need a Sprint ad letting me know that my mother will be sad (and I am a horrible son) if I don’t have enough “anytime” minutes to call her every time it looks like it might snow.

And I really don’t need the ASPCA to send me holiday stamps with little pictures of kittens and puppies in Santa hats in an effort to get me to give them money (even if it IS after all the “season of giving”).

Now I’ve got nothing against kittens or puppies, and I know the ASPCA does some great work, but get an accountant people! Maybe if you didn’t spend so much money sending stamps, key chains, calendars, thermometers, and address labels to me every two weeks, you wouldn’t need my money in the first place!

But I’m getting off track here...

It’s the Holiday season dagnabbit, and therefore it’s officially mandated that we be cheerful... at all costs... or else... or at least outwardly. When people turn their backs we’ll most likely curse them for stealing our parking spaces.... curse them for taking too long in lines (just tell me why...WHY do people still insist on writing checks!)... and we’ll surely curse them for bringing their screaming one year old into the cafe where we took a break because we just wanted to sit down for a minute, have a cup of coffee, and maybe finally achieve a moment’s peace... oh for heaven’s sake... why god, why.... why hath thou forsaken me!

But alas, that's just how it is... and we should embrace the Holidays for everything that they are. So get out your credit cards (and your earplugs), head to the malls, and start shopping with a renewed passion and vigor. Hey, there’s only 400 or so shopping days left until next year’s holidays and after all, if you’re not doing your part, well... then the terrorists have won.

Besides, if it really starts to stress you out, you can always take a break and reward yourself. I’m sure by now CVS is fully stocked with chocolate bunnies.