List #1

37 thoughts to distract yourself with while clients tell you your copy is trite and unsophisticated.

1. That commercial with the cute penguins.
2. Cheese.
3. Not being lame.
4. A sweet-ass bass.
5. How short Howard Dean really is.
6. How tall Mandy Moore is.
7. Metal.
8. Rogaine.
9. The disturbing fact that Omarosa is still on TV.
10. The more disturbing fact that you actually watch the show she’s on.
11. The plight of the African snow pea.
12. Your Netflix Queue.
13. The plight of Africans who pee in the snow.
14. Monkeys.
15. What bowling would be like if the pins were bigger.
16. What billiards would be like if the balls were smaller.
17. Full-contact naked washews.
18. More monkeys.
19. The sound that balloons make when you slowly drag them across your skin.
20. The sound that baboons make when you punch them in the stomach.
21. A loaf of bread.
22. A container of milk.
23. A stick of butter.
24. Your Dad’s yellow pants.
25. Chocobos.
26. Puppies and butterflies.
27. That scene in Tron where the dude takes that guy out with the Frisbee thing.
28. Voltron.
29. The other Voltron.
30. The Magic Garden.
31. Pi.
32. Pie.
33. Cow Pies.
34. Moo.
35. All the different ways you can pronounce the word "Road".
36. All the different ways you can pronounce the wood "Glockenspiel".
37. Defenestration.