Wah, wah, wah...

I have come to the conclusion that work is overrated.

I know that this isn’t really a groundbreaking revelation or anything (on par with say, “there is no spoon”), but still, it’s my revelation (©2004), so I’m going to write about it.

Now first off... when I say I think work is overrated, please note that I’m not referring to the Richard Bransons of the world, whose work entails waking up in the morning, having some toast, and then climbing a peak in the Himalayas to see if they can dive into the waiting hands of a personal assistant (most likely named Buck) who just happens to be tethered to a bungee cord and hanging from a hot air balloon. No, I’m talking about your run of the mill jobs... your daily commute jobs... your “please god, let someone put a bullet through my head today” jobs...

You know, the other 99.9% of us.

Don’t get me wrong... I like my paycheck and all, and when you get right down to it, I have absolutely no right to complain. At least I have a job... and hey, I ain’t exactly diggin’ ditches... But some days, I walk down the hall, staring at the neutral colored walls, and I see the cubes, the people, the fluorescent lighting that sucks the life from my very soul, the kitchenette filled with candy and sweets meant to placate us and keep us fat and dulled by sugar so we’ll be docile sheep for the machine (more Kit-Kats huh? don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to... gimme a break indeed!)... yeah, it’s about this time that I start to get... that my blood begins to boil... and I just... I... I...[unpronounceable guttural whimper]... um... I guess I drifted a bit off-topic there... my bad...

I guess I should tell you right out... I have some “issues” with my current employment situation, so every now and then you’re just going to have to deal with me getting a bit ornery... sorry.

Anyway, I was watching part of “Office Space” the other day and it got me thinking about the sheer idiocy of the modern work environment. Why does everything require an overly thought out structure? Does everything have to have a “process,” and tell me, has any of these said “processes” ever done anything other than mire down a project to the point where nothing tangible actually gets accomplished? And tell me, what’s with the obsession over titles? As far as I’m concerned, you could call me “Chief Council of Inter-office Lint Relations” and I’d be just as happy... no, check that... I’d probably like that better... But as long as the paycheck clears, you can call me anything you like... Oh, and one more thing, if you ever find out who devised the concept of the “Mission Statement,” I’d like to pay him a visit... I’ve always wondered what someone who was both anal-retentive and insane would actually look like. I just don’t get it. People seem to want to wrap everything they do in a thick coat of the bull’s business to make it look more important than it actually is. Ya know, I freely admit that some days, I do absolutely nothing that is of any value to anyone... I’m not slacking off... I’m still doing my job.... it’s just that I realize that I’m not exactly curing Cancer here (though if I could that’d be pretty cool), and therefore I’m not about to try to make it look like I’m a superhero (though that would be even cooler... “look, it’s a bird... it’s a plane... it’s Flarfman” ... “Flarfman saves the day!” ... “come Spudboy, to the Flarfcave!” ...ok, I’m done now).

I don’t really have a point here (I hope for your sake you don’t actually expect ME to have any of the answers), I’m really just whining and complaining, so I apologize. I’ll try to cut back on that... it’s just... I’m at work now, and I guess I’m bit cranky... maybe I need a change, something different in my life... yeah, that’s it, shake things up a bit... learn some new stuff... explore a bit... perhaps even try climbing a peak in the Himalayas to see if I can dive into the waiting hands of someone tethered to a bungee cord or something... ya know, I could do that! And I really think I should... I'll just leave this place right now, and take my life in an entirely new direc.... Oh look! Munchkins!