11 questions that don't need answers
1. Why are farm animals typically kept in what is linguistically a reservoir for ink?
2. Why is Spam – when it has a distinct reputation as one of the more well known “broke foods” – so darn expensive?
3. Why do Mickey and Goofy have to wear pants if Donald Duck doesn’t?
4. Why can an 870,000 pound mass of steel and jet fuel (carrying between 400-500 people no less) achieve heights in excess of 30,000 feet, when I can (even on my best day) only get my squat 185 pound frame about 10 inches or so off the ground?
5. Why doesn’t anyone tell Pooh that he is becoming obese, and if he keeps eating honey like he does, the sugar he loves so much will eventually kill him?
6. Why did I immediately think of pooh and obesity after considering my inability to take flight?
7. Why do birds suddenly appear, every time ewes are near?
8. Why did we as a society decide that the quest for the perfect paper fastener had been completed once the paper clip was invented?
9. Why can’t I pick up a paperclip without bending it so out of shape that it can never suitably be used for its intended purpose again?
10. Why is the person with the pocket-watch and funny hat who drives a train called the same thing as the guy in tails who holds a baton and tells the violins when to play... and why do both share their name with the technical term for any material that allows for the flow of electrons?
11. Why do I not have anything better to think about?
5 comments:
on the day that ewes were born, the angels got together...
is this horse dead yet?
I prefer syrian discussions about feet
nay
1. In a pinch we can use them to spell out our words for us in formation.
2. Compressed meat aint free! You gotta pay the fat man who sits on the vat!
3. Massive mouse meat.
4. No fairy dust.
5. They’re hoping to fatten him up – nothing tastes quite like a plump roast pooh with honey glaze.
6. You blame your insecurities on a love of honey and small anal retentive pigs.
7. They love wool socks.
8. It was shiny; we became distracted.
9. Because you’re retarded.
10. Because a train flows, and, uh, music flows, uh kinda like electricity and, uh…you’re retarded.
11. Because you’re retarded.
i'm NOT retarded!
...i'm special.
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