While in motion, roll the windows down and stick your head out. Respond to the salesperson’s perplexed look by stating that you are trying to determine which car your dog will like best.
Ask if you can test the air bags.
Tune the radio to an open AM frequency and turn the volume all the way up. Respond to the salesperson’s concerned look by stating that you are trying to determine if the car is a suitable antenna to receive directives from the mothership.
Ask the salesperson to quote exact figures on the viscosity of the wiper-fluid.
Ask the salesperson if he/she’s ever seen “Thelma & Louise.”
Make allusions to having repeated fantasies about taking first prize in a demolition derby. Hey, this one is constructive... if the salesperson tries to grab the wheel, then they probably don’t have faith in the safety of the vehicle.
Ask the salesperson how many immigrants he/she thinks you could fit in the trunk.
Refuse to drive in any gear but reverse. Tell the frustrated salesperson you’re dyslexic, and this is the only way you can feel “normal.”
If the car has a spoiler, ask the salesperson if it’s still okay to put groceries in the trunk...
Even fresh fish?
When the salesperson instructs you which way to turn, flatly refuse... tell them you’re an adult now, and you will turn whichever direction you gosh darn well please thank you very much... then, when the salesperson starts to get worried, turn that way anyway… respond that you’re not doing it to make THEM happy, this was in fact the way YOU wanted to turn in the first place... do this every time.
Drive the salesperson to a competing dealership and ask them if they want to rumble.
Once you’ve set out on the test drive, slow the car down to a crawl... lock the doors... then, turn to the salesman, and calmly inquire as to whether or not he/she has accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal savior.
Drive with your feet.
Take the car to a car wash... when you’re halfway through, open the sunroof... tell the exasperated salesperson that you just wanted to see how the car would handle in the rain.
Ask where you’re supposed to keep your goldfish.
Force the salesperson to play the license plate game with you. Refuse to return to the dealership until you’ve gotten all the way through. When you finish, ask to test drive another car.
Take the car through a drive-thru... ask for 14 orders of fries, and then tell the salesman you forgot your wallet.
Don’t give him any of the fries.
Point the rear-view mirror directly at the salesman. Ask him to let you know if anything important happens.
Refuse to make anything but left turns. Tell the salesperson you’re training for NASCAR.
Demand to inspect the integrity of the head gasket.
8 comments:
Thelma and Louise! I knew I forgot one!
Laugh out loud I did!...who's Thelma?...who's Louise?...just kidding...sort'a...
How about: Lie down in the backseat. Ask the salesperson to join you. When he questions your actions, tell him that he's about the same size as your girlfriend and you're checking to make sure the new car won't cramp your dating style.
By the way, when did your mom become Yoda?
good tip... especially if the salesperson is the same sex...
Yes, like yoda, my mom very wise... and speaks backward she does
don't forget to ask how many dead hookers you can fit in the trunk...
good point... dead ones are more malleable... you can really pack 'em in.
Post a Comment