The way I see it, a Ritz cracker must have really low self-esteem.
I mean, before you even get a chance to break open a sleeve, they're already being undermined... Ever look at the box? It's just an onslaught of options about how to improve upon the product. It's like the packaging itself is telling you, "Hey, these crackers are crap, but if you cover them with some peanut butter and jelly... or some cheese... or some strangely tiny luncheon meat... well then I suppose they might be okay." I tell ya, if I was a Ritz, I'd be pissed...
...of course I'd also be a cracker, so any insecurities about the quality of my consumption would probably be outweighed by my fear of actually being consumed, but that's a discussion for another day...
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