Justifying the eggnog...

Since we’re heading into December now, I figured I should probably just address this one out in the open...

I have an opinion to share...

And some of you may not like it...

Ok, here goes...


As far as I am concerned, Christmas is not a religious holiday.


There, I said it...

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas... the whole she bang... swadling, reindeer, angels... chimneys, frankincense, wise men... sugar plums, stockings, fashion-challenged midgets with yellow hair who aspire to be dentists... heck, I’d fully endorse a wider acceptance of the Wassail if you could actually tell me what one was...

Yes sirree, I loves me some Christmas... hands down, it’s my favorite holiday of the year.

But as far as I'm concerned, it aint about the Jesus.

It’s not like I think he was a bad guy or anything... I don’t.

Actually, from what I’ve seen in Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, it seems like he had a pretty good handle on the whole “how to treat your fellow man” thing, and hey, I’ll be the first to admit he rocked a sandal like it was nobody’s business... but I’m just too analytical a guy to wholly (pun intended) accept the idea of anybody as my personal savior without first seeing at least some shred of empirical evidence.

Maybe that’s just my lack of faith... maybe it’s flawed judgment... maybe it’s not... either way, for now, I’m going to cast my vote for evolution... and if I pray for anything, it will be for evolution to hurry up and... well, evolve... cuz there’s nothing I’d like more this year than to gets me some mad gills or wings or something... oh, and it’d be totally kick ass if I could have both.

Don’t worry... I’d only use them for good.

But anyway, where were we? ...oh right, Christmas!

So yeah... me... not so much about the religion... but that doesn’t mean I think any less of those who do embrace this as a time to celebrate the birth of our... or rather, their, lord... after all, they did name the holiday and pick the date and stuff (historians can’t reach any kind of consensus as to when Jesus was actually born... estimates vary in month, date, and even year), and at the end of the day, who am I to judge?

(judge not lest ye be judged and all that)

You see, in my life, Christmas has always been more about family and friends than finding a cake and party hat for the big guy in the sky. For me, Christmas is a time to celebrate the people in your life, not the life of the king of a certain people...

You may think that’s strange, or that I’m missing the point of the holiday entirely, and that’s ok... to me, it’s just normal... it’s Christmas... and I embrace it all...

I get the tree, I do the decorations, I fight with the tinsel, and generally, I make my apartment look like it’s the beachhead for a massive elf invasion (albeit a friendly one filled with knickknacks and scented votives).

And yes, I sing along with the carols too... it doesn’t matter if it’s “Let it Snow” or “O Holy Night”, I’m gonna belt it out with the best of them, and I’m going to do it with a smile on my face... and not the least bit of irony in my heart.

Now, before you start asking how someone who doesn’t appreciate the religious overtones of Christmas can derive such pleasure out of singing songs that reinforce the ideology its based on, I think it’s important to point out that I’m not really a “lyrics” kind of guy...

I don’t mean for that to sound flip, or dismissive, or anything really... it’s just the way I am...

I think of it like this... to this day, I derive great pleasure from songs that feature drug-induced stupors, tales of dragons and wizards, and the romantic entanglements of two men, but that doesn’t exactly make me Timothy Leary, Gandalf the Grey, or that guy on the corner wearing assless chaps who’s fond of asking if you know what a “Lithuanian Trumpfart” is...

It just means I dig the tunes...

And as my somewhat obsessive 900-some-odd song deep Holiday iPod playlist will attest, I certainly do dig them Holiday melodies...

Add in the nostalgia factor of having years and years of memories based around all those songs, and forget about it...

Yup, I’m just as happy to sing about snowmen, reindeer and the jolly guy who doles out the toys as I am to harmonize on the plight of Joseph and Mary. But the way I see it, all I'm doing is refusing to discriminate.

What's more Christian than that?!?!

(heck, ask me nicely, and I'll happily participate in a round or two of "The Dreidel Song")

I know that come this time of year you often see signs and billboards calling for everyone to “put the ‘Christ’ back in Christmas” and hey, if that’s what works for you, go for it.

But as far as I’m concerned, to really make it “Christmas” all you need is some good tunes, a glass of eggnog, and a few friends with which to deck the halls.

Ho, Ho, Ho.

And now that we’ve got that out of the way... BRING ON THE PRESENTS!

(just kidding)